Fledgling

July 26, 2017 

So last night we found a little fledgling on the deck chair. I instantly looked for what we should do, leave it...put it in a box...well after my research, because it was a fledgling and not a nestling (there is a difference) we were supposed to just let it be. Being a mama of 2 birds myself, this was hard...I was supposed to just let it be in the dark night all alone and let it be?! Well against my own thoughts I listened to the research and I just let it be. When we got up in the morning, I went first to look for the bird in the chair, not there...then looked on the ground off the very high deck, not there...then I found it! It was up under the other chair on the deck and still alive! It survived the night and managed to move all on it's own. Well I decided again to leave it alone, This time keeping an eye on it. Well I got busy with the boys and when I got back, it was gone...it made it to the ground. Where in my opinion is even harder for it to survive (like 47% of fledglings die in the first 2-3 days). As I was outside taking a picture, I hear a lot of chirps, squawks, whistles. I figure it must be the mom/dad watching out for this little guy. So maybe he's not alone after all, maybe they are keeping a close eye, but letting him learn on his own. This got me thinking about parenting of course and how everyone does it their own way. Then I began to reflect on our parenting style...

I'd like to think we are good parents (I know it should probably say parenting well)...but that's not what I mean, I mean good. I want our kids to DO GOOD in this world. I want them to change the world, make a difference in someone else's life, clean up a roadside, Pay it Forward with generosity...That's why I say good parents. I want to do good for our kids so they will live well and do good for others.

I also think that we have become more like the fledglings parents, watching closely...but not hovering on top of (like we were as new parents) We have learned it is important for them to make their own mistakes, it is important for them to bump their head on the table a couple of time because it is all part of learning. If we protect them from every danger in the world, they will grow up thinking that life is easy and should not be painful...but to be honest life is quite painful at times and they need to experience that. They need to feel all of the emotions and empathize not just sympathize with others.
NOTE TO MY BOYS: 
       I hope that you become men who are willing to go above and beyond the call of duty. I hope that we teach you to have empathy for others not just sympathy. This means, put yourself in their shoes...and think. Take time to truly listen to people...you don't need to share your opinion or your experiences every time someone speaks...it's not about you. Sometimes all someone needs is for you to listen, you may not know what to say/do but just listening, being unbiased, not giving your 2c is just what they need. Don't offer an opinion up unless it is requested by them, them by all means share yours but you better do it without judgement...because we are not here to judge any other human being. I love you guys and so does your daddy...more than words can say. 

Back to the fledgling and my 2 fledglings....I will continue to watch out for you and care for you and help you grow into birds who will eventually leave the nest. This mama hopes it will be a very long time (even though I know it will go quickly). One of my little fledglings, just figured out how to get himself out from under the table (while I let him fuss)...then he decided to crawl back under where he keeps bumping his head...#boys The ladies are leaking, guess I get to go feed my littlest nestling (he's not figured out walking so he's a nestling)..

Our little fledgling...Rexton named him "Bird" (original right)

Coincidences

July 24, 2017

Coincidences, Fate, God-winks...whatever you want to call them...happen all the time. 

Weird coincidences happen...I have a baby and need a teaching job all in the same year, the school has a daycare IN IT (cheaper than other places)! Someone sneaks a better offer in on a house and get it, we end up finding a better house around the corner.

Tim needed a job where he was appreciated more, a family friend told us they needed someone to work in the shop. 

Everett gets RSV at 6 weeks, he doesn't get sick his first months in daycare. I have no more sick days to use, I stay healthy and so do the boys. 

I say I want to go to Target, we find a gift card. Tim gets a seat belt ticket and the next week gets in a wreck and totaled his car (but had his seat belt on). I go to see the play Beauty and the Beast and it comes on TV the next day and we watch it with Rex and dance as a family to 'Beauty and the Beast'. I think (don't even say) I want to get rid of some hangers...then a friend on Facebook posts that she is needing some for a refugee family.

Seriously, usually these things get over looked, but have you ever just sat and thought about them? Thought about how life just seems to always do what needs to be done. I am a believer that all things in our life happen for a reason. The good things, the bad things, and all things in between happen for a purpose. We sometimes forget...or maybe we don't believe it yet, that life has a plan for us. I used to have a hard time with the bad things in life that happened and asked "Why us" Why do we keep having to work so hard at life... but now we LIVE through the bad. We have learned to embrace it, figure out why we are being tested, then LIVE (not survive-there is a difference) through it. I have Tim's annoying optimism to thank for this finally taking effect. 

I also am not perfect so I still have freak outs and he talks me off a ledge, but overall I have began to live through these 'bad' things and remind myself that it must be happening for a reason. 

We must remember that our life is special, our kids are special, our impact on the world is special, and we should appreciate everyday we get to spend on this Earth because, there are many people who have an exponentially more difficult life than us. Appreciate what you have, help those who don't have it, and GIVE what you can to Positively Impact those around you. (That's what I have learned in my 27 years of life on  this Earth)

I have always told my students that their lives are more than they see it as. They think in such closed lines that they aren't able to look outside of themselves yet and see the impact they make on the world and others in it. I only was able to learn this myself in my late 20s, so my expectations for them to actually listen to me is low (they are selfish brained middle schoolers) but I hope that some of them have listened. I hope that they are able to eventually remember what I said whether it me now or in 10 years and say you know Mrs. Mueller was right. I have always been honest with my students and I believe that treating them this way has given them the understanding that I am a human being too, meaning they appreciate me more, they respect me more, and they do not 'act out' as much in my room. I tell them if I have gone with 0 sleep and am grouchy so watch how they act...and they respect me enough to be on their best behavior. At least that was with my first batch of kids (who I had for 2 years in a row) and now I get a new bunch this year who I hope will be as great as the others....anyways I got off topic. Tim says I do that too much, but whatever I have thousands of thoughts going through my head at a time, do you really expect me to stay on topic!?

In summary, appreciate ALL things that happen in your life. Appreciate the good, the bad, and everything in between. Don't expect happiness to happen automatically, it is a choice you have to make in accepting that the things in your life all happen for a reason, you just have to wait and see what the reason is.
Time to go play with the boys...1 thinks he is big, the other wants to be a baby...

       Rex 2.5 in pack and play















                            E. 7mo in big boy room with toys
                            he crawled there from the living room

Things I've said...

July 21, 2017

I have been a mother now for 2 years and 7 months...That alone freaks me out.(Well I guess I was a mother before that while my little alien Rexton was still in the womb...but I mean since birth because stuff gets real after that). Anyways, I have made many mistakes these 2yr 7mo but I think keeping them alive and keeping my sanity at the same time is a great success. 

I was thinking today about all of the things that have come out of my mouth since becoming a mother, some I am not proud of, some I have laughed after they come out, and some should be said. So, I decided to list some for the record.  

1) "I love you"
 --This comes out of my mouth the most, sometimes in purely happy moments, sometimes after I have been mean because I was frustrated, sometimes when they cry and I can't figure out why, sometimes when no other words seem to make sense, these words are powerful. These words make me feel good. These words are my reminder that I need to be grateful for every minute good/bad that I get to spend with my boys. 

2) "Get off of that/get down"
---#boymom enough said. 

3) "What is in your mouth?!"
---Not only do I have a crawler who has hawk-eye vision and can see a speck on the floor of god knows what, but I have a 2yo who picks candy up off a dirty freaking restaurant and puts it in his mouth and says 'treats'...yes that happened. 

4) "Leave your brother alone." 
---Usually directed to Rexton...because he is trying to play with his bubba. However, E has begun following Rex around and grabbing him..

5) "Stop touching your Penis at the dinner table."
----Yep those words happened, we are potty training and freaking killing it...Gone the whole month without a diaper getting wet at night, started wearing big boy boxers (not pull ups legit boxers) but in the beginning he was naked, always naked...and it worked...but he liked to play with 'it' at the dinner table.  

6) "Just Eat!" 
---Both kids have gotten this one. E is a distracted breast-feeder, every little thing distracts him while eating, its frustrating. Then Rex is just a picky eater...it's annoying, but again he has started to eat more foods---it has made a huge difference that we make sure to have dinner at the table as a family (unlike we were when he was younger). 

7) "Leave the dogs alone!" 
---This one usually gets yelled and at least 3 times a day. Nothing I do keeps Rex away from the dogs. Poor snuggles is always running away from him or giving into him and just taking his hair pulling/squishing. This one is almost always followed by number 2...like just now. E has started following in brother's foot steps

8) " I hate you" :(
---This one I am not proud of, but I feel is important that I be honest with myself enough to say I've said it...and I'm sure I'm not the only one. This one broke me the few times I have said it and I instantly felt like the worst person on the planet. These babies are so precious and the time I get with them is so limited and I should be grateful...but honestly I'm human and I have flaws. When these words came out of my mouth I was exhausted, frustrated, annoyed, angry, depressed and selfish. I missed the days I actually felt like a human and got the sleep I needed. I missed the days of showers uninterrupted, and I missed the days that my every action was not directly proportionate to the life of another human. However, I do have to say since I said them and it was only a few times late night, I have learned how to deal with life's testing moments. When this did get said however I instantly followed with the  next phrase...and number 1. (Anyone that knows me knows that I could never hate my children.)

9) "I'm Sorry" 
----I have said this at every instant when I have been a not so perfect mommy. I have said this when I yelled, when I cried out of frustration, when I am wrong, when I have spanked (because imo running into the street is warrant a spanking--well at least that's instinctively what my body did...some things should be associated with ouchies and again imo that is one). I apologize to my children for not being enough, I apologize when I don't understand what they are trying to say, I apologize to my husband when I undermine him, or don't show him enough affection (He never complains, and is always supportive and understands that I'm just in mommy mode...How did I get so lucky?)I apologize a lot because I think my kids need to see that it is okay to make mistakes if we take responsibility for them and change our behavior. They need to know it is OKAY to not be perfect (even though I set what some say too high of expectations for them)and to fail is how we learn and grow. I apologize not just because I should but to teach them.---This one is also always followed by number 1. 

10) "You are so smart." 
---My kids rock this thing called life. They figure out stuff quicker than I am ready for usually. Rexton frequently gets things away from the baby that he know he shouldn't have (he's only 2.5)...while at the same time playing a little too rough (haha), I love the look in their eyes when they accomplish a task (even if the task is something like climbing behind the chair to get a toy) They are learning, and seeing them grow each day is mind-blowing. I have also learned so much from them, I have learned that they mimic our behaviors and our movements to a key. E smiles all of the time--and I think it's because we smile a lot in this house, we laugh a lot...and we are happy, that is good. Rex repeats words and actions (some we did not purposely teach)...But his ability to use the words he learns in the proper manner makes me at least proud that he is smart enough to do so. I also value intelligence and want them to do the same, so it is important for me to tell them they are smart.

Well that is just 10 of the 100s of things I have said to my kids. Life is ever changing in this chaotic scary world---we are just doing what we can to build good human beings, we are just doing what we can to make them safe in a world that is not always, we are not just surviving in this world, we LIVE in this world. Our little family Lives and Loves each day we spend together and I cannot express into words how happy it makes me to have these 3 men (and 2 dogs) in my life to challenge me, support me, and guide me. Tim, Rexton, and Everett...Thank you for keeping mommy sane (most of the time) . 

"Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don't wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it's at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored".- Earl Nightingale