Education is powerful

September 2020

My mind has done nothing but wonder the past month. I have so many words, feelings, emotions, pains in my head and heart...that articulating them is difficult. We were not raised as a generation to do the mind work. We were not raised on the importance of social emotional awareness...which makes everything a bit harder when speaking your voice.

With so many loved ones sharing conflicting thoughts, pain, and priorities...I just want to take some time to process myself and to think within myself. Starting off by saying, I love the safety and the lack of fear I have right now sitting outside to write this...listening to the birds tweet and the dogs bark, I am grateful for this privilege that I have and the freedom to be educated enough to simply be able to type my words. 

I am so beyond grateful for the life that we live and the things surrounding us that give us the ability to be prosperous. I am grateful for the family that raised me and showed me examples of things like: respect, kindness, hope, fear, hard time, good time, strength, courage, love, patience, persistence, and so much more.

I spend a lot of time asking myself and the world "Why", "How", "What If"...I have always been this way. I am inquisitive and sometimes it is to a fault. Sometimes I get so stuck in the questions---that they overcome my thoughts and my whole mind. I have a lot of those questions right now in regards to our soon to be 'return' to school. So much so that they have caused me a tremendous amount of anxiety and I can tell it is effecting me physically, not just emotionally. (back to this in a minute)

However, through all of this...there are moments that I just embrace and love. I have been at home for nearly 6 months with my boys, everyday. It has been challenging and rewarding. We have had great days and not so great ones. BUT, we end each night with identifying our big emotions of the day, I ask them each night, "What was you happy part, sad part, angry part, and frustrated part?". nearly every night our boys choose a random moment that I may have let slip past as their favorite parts, and it reminds me to slow down and truly see and feel what this time with them is, precious.

Here are some of their responses:
My happy part was...
"when you laid down with me in the grass and looked at the clouds",
"when daddy played wrestlin with me",
"When I got to give you belly rubs",
"When we went to the neighbors and you pushed me on the swing",
"when you played the game with me"
"When you gave me special kisses"
"When we floated on our backs together in the pool"
"When you gave me cuddles"
and they go on and on and on with this every night----6/7 nights they choose a tiny moment in a day that happened with me. Many nights Rex will say "My happy part was you mama-just everything" and my heart just melts as I kiss him goodnight. I am so very grateful for these moments and these times we have spent together, educating and learning together how to understand our emotions better.

Back to education and questioning the world. Someone told me the other day "I remember even as a kid, you would just keep pressing on something and asking But Why" and I never really thought in depth about how much I do question things until I reflected on some moments Here are times I just couldn't stop until I knew:

1. Where does the trash in NY go? (Jersey)
2. What is the leading cause of death of children in the US/World? (US-Vehicle accidents/firearm incidents World
3. How do certain chemicals effect our body systems? (so many ways save for another post)
4. Who were the original people on our land? (Cherokee) 
5. How long does it take plastic to degrade? (depends of thickness and type)
6. What is trauma, and how does it effect us physically and emotionally? (save for another post)
7. Where does the spider go at night? (depends on spider, some weave, some sleep)
8. What do mosquitoes do for  the world? (not crap)
9. Why does McDonald's coke taste better? (the carbonation is trademarked and the straws are special)
10. Were their mortgage stops in other countries during the pandemic? (yes0
11. Where does the word Sassy come from?
12. How do light waves effect body tissue? (different frequencies do different things)
13. Why are some dogs so persistent about getting under the covers? (safety)

Never stop questioning things, you learn a lot by being inquisitive.