April 19, 2015
A) ASK FOR HELP! There is no shame.
B) BREASTFEED YOUR BABY. (If you can, If you can't just feed em) It is good for you and your baby. Do it as long as you can and don't give up, I had to use this stupid nipple shield for the first month and it was the most frustrating, exhausting thing in the world...but in the end it was worth it. Even when he would knock it off and I had to start all over with the feed in the middle of the night, it will get better. The love and excitement you get from a physiological response in your body is just shocking. Heck the first time he latched on without the shield my life was better. **UPDATE: Breastfeeding is hard and it is okay and you are a wonderful mama without doing it...but this mama was so excited when we won the battle to be able to feed correctly**
C) Confidence is my new best friend. You are not a failure because you didn't know why he was crying or because you can't get them to latch on at first, or because someone told you that you are doing something wrong....be confident through it all. Try at least.
D) Decide what is a priority. Do you do the dishes or the laundry in the 20min break you might have.
E) Enough is Enough. When you have had enough of everyone throwing how you should be doing something at you, just say enough is enough. You don't have to be rude about it, but you can politely just say okay with a smile and go on...but when someone tries pushing things on you that you are not comfortable with, tell them flat out enough is enough. This is my child and every mother knows what's best for their child. It's biological. We are all different and every baby is different.
F) Firsts are Fun. Fun is about to have an entire new meaning to you. You'll understand this one when your little baby finds a new sound they can make or scares himself when he toots, or when he finds his feet for the first time. Firsts become the most fun things you have ever experienced.
G) Growing. This happens so fast that you will want to cry. It literally flies by...if you thought time was going by fast before your baby, you have no idea how fast it goes once you see him double his birth weight in just 4 months.
H) Hold your baby as much as you can but put them down when your at your breaking point (yes even if they are crying/screaming) If you are going to break put them down...go outside...scream/count to 10/take a deep breath, you can do it.
I) Invest in your child's future. Start a bank account for him/her before they are even born. Start putting in any extra money. This is something I said I would make sure to do for my child so that they would not have to stress about paying for an education (hopefully) in the future. Make sure it is one that you can't take money out of. This is not your money. It is theirs.
J) Join your friend or family when they ask you to do something. It's important for you to feel normal.
K) Knight in shining armor. Yes, Tim is mine and everyone need one. whether it is your mom, dad, brother, sister, spouse, aunt, uncle, friend etc. Everyone will have that moment where they are glad that person stepped in and helped you.
L) LOVE, LOVE, LOVE....Love is all you need. Really it is, as long as your baby knows and feels the love, they will not remember the bad things. They wont remember how broke you were, how many nights you broke down, how dirty the house was. Don't just love your baby, love your spouse as well...because the love you feel for that baby can be so tremendous you can forget just how in love you are with them at moments.
M) Money is going to be tight, for the rest of your life. You now don't worry about if you have enough money to catch a movie, you worry if you have enough money to go grocery shopping. But hey guess what...like Tim says "It will all work out" Everything will feel like it is impossible, but you'll get through it. Managing your spending is going to become your life.
N) NO ONE knows better than you. You are the parent and your instincts are primal...go with them.
O) Open your mind. Take in some of the advice, research, read, educate yourself. Then make your own decisions on what you think is best for you and your family.
P) Pump and give them a bottle or have someone else give them a bottle (you'll appreciate it once you start working again)
Q) Quiet time. Take a few minutes out of the day and turn off everything. Just be there with your child in the quiet. it will do wonders.
R) READ and TALK constantly to your baby. If you are at home and baking a cake, strap them into their carrier and let them watch you...this is how they learn, by watching, listening, smelling, touching, tasting the things around them...At some point everything will go into their mouth. If you do everything for your baby without making them learn to ask or communicate properly, then they will struggle a bit later on.
S) Stay Strong and Smile though it. Your smile will teach your baby to smile and in the middle of the night when your baby wont burp and you are exhausted...then he turns his little head towards you, looks at you, and smiles...that will be your reminder that you can get through it. It will make you melt but it will also make you say "really you little booger, you are being a butt and you are smiling about it".
T) Trust in your baby. You don't need to do everything for them...let them learn to sooth themselves. I'm not a believer in the cry it out method because crying is the only way infants know to communicate., but I also know the difference between an actual cry and a whimper...you will learn it to, don't give into the whimpers...they will find their feet and be okay :)
U) Unplug. In today's world we are so dependent on our devices that unplugging just seems like the impossible. We recently went on a trip to Duggar IN...Yea it's itty-bitty and has no cell service. Well this trip was absolutely amazing. It was filled with love, cuddles with Tim and Rexton, and we didn't watch TV but maybe once the entire time we were there...and left our phones on airplane mode...it was a peacefulness that you wouldn't expect.
V) VILLAGE! It takes a village. That is something that I believe in whole-heartedly. Tim and I have a huge support system around us. This boy has family, extended family, work-family, friend-family, and we know that if we need anything or if we are struggling, we can depend on these amazing people in our lives to be there for us and our little man. Take the help. Let the Village help you...you'll be weary at first but eventually you wont feel like you are a burden to them. That was my biggest issue, I didn't want to be a burden to anyone with the needy baby...but eventually you will learn to accept the village. Accept the help from the waitress at the Mexican restaurant who holds your baby so you can eat, or the couple at the restaurant who chase you down to give you the baby sock that fell on the ground. There are many people in the same boat as you or that have been in your boat and they know how it is, just accept the help.
W) Wrong. You will be wrong sometimes, but that's how we learn. If you are always right, then you will not be humble. Admit when you are wrong, and apologize if necessary.
X) Xs and Os. Kiss and Hug that baby and your spouse every minute that you can. Also anytime you are leaving...because the world is a dangerous place and we never know when the last hug or kiss will be.
Y) Youth. You're going to feel like an old fart for a little bit because your friends might be going out drinking and your idea of fun is staying at home with a bottle of wine playing cards...but guess what your true friends will be the ones who join in on the cards and wine instead of saying your lame for not going out. Don't get me wrong, I think going out is great, and if you have the money then go for it, but we usually don't have the money...and the hassle of getting the baby all packed up and taken to someone else's house to be babysat is annoying. Remember that you are still young and do things to keep yourself feeling so, exercise is a good way to keep you feeling younger.
Z) Zen. Find your Zen. Whether it is a bath, watching a football/basketball game, running, yoga, whatever...find what helps you and do it everyday.
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