It's been 4 months

April 23, 2016

So, there are a few things that have been on my mind lately, but I haven't found the time to sit down and just write about them until today. I made a choice to do some word therapy instead of cleaning the house for a little while. So no more stalling...

1. Choices. That is what life is all about, we make choices everyday and we have to live with them. Sometimes we make god choices and sometimes we don't. Now that I have become a parent I have realized that the choices I make are completely different from the choices I made just over a year ago before I was expecting. Before becoming a parent I was worried about taking an extra shift at work, going out to get a drink with a friend, or staying home and working on school work. The choices were all about me and I honestly didn't really think about them too much, I just did whatever and that was that. Looking back now, I wish I would have made the choices to work the extra shifts more and the choice to save the money...but I didn't. Live and Learn I guess. Anyways, the choices that I have found myself making now that I am a parent are more on the side of should I do the dishes or try to go to bed at 7pm because that's when my son sleeps the longest and I'm exhausted. Usually the choice is to do the dishes because I hate a dirty sink. While these daily choices are not as extravagant as they used to be, they effect more people. The biggest choice that I have made is to spend time with my son instead of going to work full time after he was born, I know that this choice is one that is quite controversial to many, but this one choice has been the best one I think my other half and I have ever made. It wasn't just my decision, I was not sure at first and Tim made me feel like we could make it work. He always has a way of making me feel like we are going to be okay, that's why he is so wonderful.
 Yes I sometimes feel like a cow-literally. I have days I feel big and fat, even though I weigh less now than when I got pregnant. I have days that I feel like I'm just a milk factory...Especially around 3 months when he had this growth spurt and was eating like every hour! I had no idea where he was putting it...then the explosive diaper bomb came and I figured out where it went...yea not the most fun in the world. Another cow trait I feel like some days is dirty...I feel like I have been wallowing in poo and dirt all day, even if I have just taken a shower?! Well no one tells you that your choices become more difficult to make because you are not able to leave a 1-2 month old by themselves long enough to take care of yourself (well you are, but you don't think you are). At least for me, I was not comfortable with doing things for myself at first because I was scared to chose me over him, it's only taken 4 months for me to realize that the better I am able to take care of myself, the happier I am and more capable I am to take care of him.

January 4, 2025

Hmm...looks like I didn't finish this though, seems like a trend of getting distracted. I put a 1 at the top, so I know thre must be more things, but I guess we will never know.