Good, Bad, and Beautiful...

 March 8, 2024

Wow, this morning was already a whirl-wind and a slap in the face to the realization that sometimes our expectations of reality and reality itself are never going to be the same. 

My Expectation for the morning: 

    Rex asked if we could do a family breakfast before school. Usually Mom and dad don't eat breakfast, and the boys eat cereal or a bar or something easy. So I had planned to go workout then rush home and make breakfast. Have Pancakes, waffles, eggs, and bacon all ready for us to eat together and enjoy some time as a family before school started as requested by the littles. 

The Reality: 

    I went to work out and got home just in time to start making breakfast. Went to wake E up and he asked for more time, so I gave him until 6. He woke up and threw a HUGE fir for 20min because I told him he couldn't wear any costume to school, it was superhero themed day and if he wanted to wear a costume then it had to be a superhero. He disagreed and argued. I lost my cool, Tim lost his cool, none of us were happy and we were all yelling and upset while I was still cooking breakfast. At the moment I said these words to E, I realized that I was making things worse " Way to ruin the entire morning E, now none of us are are going to have a good morning". I wish the words didn't come out and I later apologized but man was I upset, felt unseen and under appreciated. in my head this is what was going on... Here I was rushing to make a breakfast and meet expectations I had set for the morning and here he was throwing a fit over something dumb and man he should just be glad he has clothes to wear because so many kids don't. 

 Gosh, looking back I know I made things worse, and so did the hubby he was also escalated and not speaking reasonably. ?It was not until I stopped and took a minute to sit and talk to him, on his level, and truly listen to him that he calmed down. Threats, yelling, spankings, etc. do not work when a kid is so escalated that he can not reason. So we went and sat for a few minutes and truly talked and breathed with him and we came to the conclusion of wearing a Green Lantern shirt, washing the tears off, and taking some breaths to go sit down and enjoy breakfast as a family before daddy had to leave. 

Now I haven't even hit what happened with Rex, he ended up dropping an entire waffle on his lap and threw a huge fit. Screamed, hit the plate, said "I HATE this PLATE", and started crying. Tim and I both told him to "Stop the attitude and crying and just go change, that it's not a big deal" Well hell, to him it was a big deal to him and as parents if we just had taken a minute to validate his feelings, the fit would have been avoided all together. We are constantly learning how to parent and none of it is easy. We struggle daily to calm our own demons and expectations, and will keep working.